


this whiskey got me feelin' pretty (so pardon if I'm impolite)

by 17blackk



Series: summer wine [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, lord help doyoung, very little angst in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 14:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15051014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17blackk/pseuds/17blackk
Summary: « I can't believe this, » Taeyong starts laughing. « Doyoung, oh my god, are you jealous? »« What the fuck, of course I'm not, » Doyoung tries to defend himself.(He is.)





	this whiskey got me feelin' pretty (so pardon if I'm impolite)

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me ! https://curiouscat.me/hyukkwon
> 
>  
> 
> takes place BEFORE part 1 but can be read without the other parts I guess?

 

**From:** Tae **[8:01am]**

 

_BITCH_

_oH my GOD DOYOUGNJF_

 

Doyoung is a light sleeper.

 

**To:** Tae **[8:05am]**

  
_r u kidding m e_

 

  
**From:** Tae **[8:06am]**

 

_BITCH  
_

_THE RESULTS JUST DroPpED_

  
  
**To:** Tae **[8:06am]**

  
_what_

  
  
**From:** Tae **[8:07am]**

  
_BITCH I GOT STRAIGHT A's?1?1??1_  
  
_well except for japanese literature_ _where I got a B_ _cuz my teacher's a hoe but sTILL_  
  
_CAN YOU BELIEVE_

_IM LITERALLY SCREAMING_

_anyways come over when ur awake for real_ _u_ _lazy_ _fuck_

 

**To:** Tae **[8:09am]**

  _i fckn hate you_

 

  
Truth is, Doyoung doesn't feel like sleeping anymore, but it's not even 9 am, he's got nothing to do and he's way too lazy to get up right now. His brain registers only half of the news he just got, so he has no trouble falling back asleep for another four hours.

 

**—**  

 

When he does actually wake up, he hurries to get ready and quickly walks to Taeyong and Jaehyun's building which is just on the other side of campus. As soon as he walks out of the elevator, he hears Panic! At The Disco blasting through the hallway. He smiles to himself. 

 

  
He enters without knocking (he wants to smack Taeyong for never locking the goddamn door) and finds Taeyong in a tank top and shorts, cleaning up the whole apartment. Every window is open, it smells like some lemon fragranced detergent. Every surface is spotless, as though the apartment had just been renovated.

  
  
Jaehyun's room's door is closed, which means he's in there and somehow still asleep despite the music. Doyoung can't relate.

  
  
Taeyong is always a bit of a clean freak, and he forces Jaehyun to be tidy as well so their home never really gets messy; but when he gets into extreme cleaning like this, it's always a good sign. It means he's in a good mood.

  
  
« Hey, » Doyoung says loudly.

  
  
« Doyoungie ! » Taeyong almost yells, surprised. « I thought you were never going to show up, you sloth. Who even sleeps that much? »

  
  
Doyoung glances to his left.

  
  
« Jaehyun, apparently? Also, I deserved it. I only got two B's, » Doyoung smiles.

 

He checked his results on his phone on the way. He was a bit disappointed that he got a B in one of his favorite subjects, but Ancient History was always a bit complicated to understand even if very interesting. As for the other, it was on his Japanese oral presentation, during which he stuttered a total of three times, so he's not surprised.

  
  
Hearing about grades seems to lift up Taeyong's mood even more, if possible.

  
  
« That's awesome, Doyoungie ! I told you you'd kick your History teacher's ass. You kept saying you would get an F, » he begins enthusiastically. « But, like, can you believe I got straight A's? For real, »

  
  
As he walks excitedly to his laptop so he can check his grades again, Doyoung notices it's been a while since he's seen him smiling that bright. Doyoung was certain he would do well, but Taeyong was always so insecure that even working as hard as he did didn't seem enough to him, so Doyoung understands that he's so surprised and happy about this.

 

  
**—**

 

  
Taeyong is in the highest spirits humanly possible. It's well into the holidays, now, so he starts taking time for himself, exploring new hobbies, baking weird looking but delicious cakes he sees on Instagram from time to time, rewatching his favorite movies (although he did that all the time anyway). He dyes his faded pink hair into a vibrant red. Doyoung thinks he looks like sex on legs.

  
  
_I think you look... pretty cool_ , is what he says when Taeyong asks for his opinion.

  
  
After going to way too much graduation parties, Jaehyun decided he was tired of getting wasted and that he would spend more time at home. He doesn't say it, but Doyoung knows he also wants to spend as much time with Taeyong as possible, afraid that his mood might drop suddenly again. The asshole also got straight A's somehow, despite getting smashed every now and then, even in the middle of the week sometimes. His parents were so happy they let him stay on campus for a while instead of asking him to come home.

 

It's almost always the three of them, sometimes with Youngho, who's calm enough to go to the movies, sometimes with Yuta, who's way too noisy for restaurants, but they let him come anyway. Sometimes, they go out with Taeyong's new friend he met in sewing class, Ten.

 

Ten is refreshing, in a way, loud but not annoyingly so, cute and bubbly with a true sense of humor. He and Taeyong started getting along weeks ago, immediately sharing numbers and social networks upon meeting, but he's only been coming over since a few days ago, because Taeyong was apparently scared of introducing Jaehyun (and Doyoung) to him, thinking they wouldn't get along at all.

 

  
Doyoung is glad Taeyong is starting to make more friends, meeting people out of their small circle, people he can talk to and confide in when he's tired of repeating the same things to Doyoung and Jaehyun, but he can't help but feel his heart shrink when he watches Ten and Taeyong giggling on the couch, feeding each other cookies. He doesn't know why.

  
  
(He does know why, but he doesn't want to admit it's because they look good together.)

 

Despite this, seeing Taeyong doing so well gives Doyoung a whole new reason to get up in the morning, making him even more excited at the idea of spending time with him, knowing he won't be walking on eggshells around him, at least for a while.

 

Doyoung feels like he's discovering new parts of Taeyong, parts he hasn't seen in a while, parts he doesn't remember because of all the times he tried to pretend he didn't care about Taeyong anyway, because of all the time he spent avoiding him, in the beginning, scared of what the tingling feeling in his chest might mean. Sometimes he regrets losing so much time, missing so many moments because of his pride, but he tries to forget all about the past everytime Taeyong smiles at him for no reason, knowing that it's all okay, now.

 

These days, Doyoung feels like he's falling in love with him all over again.

 

**—**

 

  
« Let's go out tonight, » Taeyong blurts one day.

  
  
It's nearing 8 pm, and they've been lazing in the couch watching some teenage TV show and drinking beer all evening. Doyoung started hating it after four episodes, but he desperately wants to know who killed the ginger boy, so he keeps on watching.

  
  
« I mean, there's Yuta's holidays party tonight, but, » Jaehyun doesn't finish, already expecting the other boys' answer.

  
  
« Let's go then! » Taeyong turns to Doyoung, seeking his approval.

  
  
« I thought we, uh, disliked Yuta? » Doyoung tries.

  
  
« Yuta did nothing wrong, » Jaehyun mumbles.

  
  
« It's true, though. He did nothing wrong, » Taeyong says to himself. Doyoung is confused. Yuta actually did nothing wrong to them, they just both decided he was annoying at some point. Truthfully, they're actually both quite fond of him, because the Japanese boy is funny as hell, but acting like they don't want to see him is just _Dotae culture_.

  
  
« What's gotten into you today? Drinking beer in the afternoon, considering going to Yuta's parties? This isn't Normal Taeyong Behavior, » Doyoung jokes.

  
  
« Normal Taeyong Behavior is wanting to die every minute, so be grateful, you bitch, » Taeyong counters, trying to kick Doyoung (and failing).

  
  
« Oh my god, okay, fuck, if you want to go then we'll go. I don't mind, » Doyoung relents.

  
  
(He does mind, but he'll go anywhere Taeyong will go, so.)

Unsurprisingly, Doyoung isn't much of a party guy. He would rather drink with Jaehyun over fried chicken or with Taeyong while watching movies or with both of them while they talk and share new music with each other. Big parties filled with shitfaced strangers and music so loud he can't even hear himself think aren't really his thing. Tonight is the night to make an effort.

 

Not that big of an effort, though. He decides he'll go just as he is now, dressed in ripped jeans and some band tee. Taeyong says he looks emo, but Doyoung is too lazy, so it'll have to do. At least his hair is clean. Jaehyun changes quickly into a polo and trades his sweatpants for a pair skinny jeans. He styles his hair a bit, but he knows damn well he's already cute as hell.

  
  
« Are we ready? » Doyoung asks when Jaehyun plops back on the couch next to him.

  
  
« You wish, » he laughs. « Wait until you see how long Tae takes to get ready. » He pulls out his phone and loads some game, making a show of getting comfortable on the couch as if he was going to stay there for a week.

  
  
Taeyong used to go to parties, he told Doyoung, but it was at the very beginning of sophomore year, when he thought his depression was just him being moody and that he would get over it.

 

He was still as shy as he is now, but very popular despite not really talking to anyone. People would go to him and invite him anywhere for a chance to become friends with him. After a while, though, they eventually got tired of trying so hard (and failing) to get a place in Taeyong's life.

 

It was a wild phase for him, according to Jaehyun, because he would always say yes and go and dance and get drunk out of his mind and kiss strangers in dark corners, sometimes multiple times in the same week. Doyoung only knew his name back then, so he's never witnessed any of it. Knowing Taeyong now, he doesn't know what to expect.

  
  
The getting ready part lasts two actual hours, so it's probably not that good of a start.  

  
  
But, had Doyoung known what he was about to witness with his own two eyes, even two days wouldn't have been enough for him to get ready.

  
  
He's almost dozing off when Taeyong finally gets out of the bathroom, not really watching but rather looking at the TV. Jaehyun is watching stupid videos on Instagram, now. He was shit at that game, anyway.  
  
« I'm done! » Taeyong announces.  
  
Doyoung doesn't pay attention, his brain so fried he almost didn't even remember who or what he was waiting for in the first place.  
  
Taeyong then comes right in front of the TV, striking a pose.  
  
Doyoung sits up so fast he probably breaks a random bone. He's _definitely_ paying attention now.  
  
« What, » Doyoung blurts. Jaehyun snorts.

 

_Where the fuck did he find_ _these_ _clothes_ , Doyoung wonders.

 

Taeyong is wearing some red jacket with lace details around the wrists, paired with an open white shirt. The real problem here, though, is the red see-through lacy kind of top that's underneath the open shirt. It's so see-through his nipples are on display when he moves a bit too much.  
  
His bright red hair is styled into an intricate mess, his eyes looking even bigger because of his eyeliner and the glittery eyeshadow he applied. His pink lips are shiny with clear lip gloss. Doyoung thinks he's about to come in his pants just from looking at him.

  
  
« So? » Taeyong asks.

  
  
« 10/10 would fuck you, » Jaehyun says.

  
  
« You'd fuck any living thing, » Taeyong deadpans. He turns to Doyoung, repeating, « So? ».

  
  
Doyoung stares at him for an awkward full minute before realizing he's been waiting for his opinion.

  
  
« You look like Renaissance, »

  
  
Taeyong's face falls.

 

« The fuck, » he starts.

 

« He means you look like art, » Jaehyun supplies, trying not to laugh. Taeyong glares at him.

  
  
« I mean, you look really good? Like, yeah, really good. Amazing, even, » Doyoung stutters, trying not to sound like he just popped an instant heart boner.

 

  
Taeyong winks at him. He looks like he knows something Doyoung doesn't.

 

**—**

 

  
  
They decide to walk there. Their apartment is on campus, so the frat house isn't far. Doyoung's dorm is also on campus, so he knows he'll have no trouble going home when he finally admits that he doesn't want to be anywhere near Yuta's fucking party. Right now, he's still in denial, because Taeyong is way too excited for him to ruin the mood. (He's also way too beautiful, so Doyoung can't consider leaving just yet.)

 

They arrive around 10:30 pm, which is a bit early for so many people to be drunk already, Doyoung thinks. People are dancing and passing red cups around filled with god-knows-what. It smells like smoke and sweat and alcohol and everything evil and it's a world Doyoung certainly doesn't belong in, but Taeyong wants to have fun, and he wants to see Taeyong having fun, so he shuts his big mouth.

 

Yuta is genuinely happy to see them. Jaehyun's presence was expected, of course, but his eyes light up when he notices Doyoung and Taeyong trailing behind. His reaction is fucking precious, but you certainly didn't hear that from Doyoung.

 

« Doyoung, my boy ! » he yells over the loud music. He throws his arm around Doyoung's shoulder, « I knew you'd come! ». His breath smells like vodka, or whatever he's been chugging.

 

« Yeah, yeah, your boy, whatever, » Doyoung rolls his eyes. It's cute that Yuta's so excited to see them despite knowing very well that they don't exactly love him.

 

Yuta ruffles his hair before leaving him alone and turns to Taeyong.

 

« Damn, TY, looking hot, » Yuta says, giving the redhead's body an appreciative once-over. « Let me know if you need anything, sweetheart, » he winks at Taeyong, making him blush and giggle.

 

Doyoung sighs and looks away. 

 

He spots Jaehyun who already has a cup in his hands, courtesy of his other friends he joined across the room, ditching him and Taeyong.

 

They wander through the living room to get drinks, Taeyong waving to some people he knows here and there. Doyoung figures he'll stick with him until they leave, even if it means he has to endure Yuta's presence since the latter can't take his eyes off Taeyong, coming to them every now and then and asking if they're having fun or if they need anything, giving Taeyong drinks and flirtatious smiles. Doyoung knows it's going to be a long night when Taeyong grabs his arm suddenly and says,

 

« Oh my god, I should've called Ten! Should I call him? Do you think it's too late to call him? » he almost panics.

 

« Whatever, call him. » Doyoung mutters. « It's like, 11 pm, I don't think he'll be sleeping. » Doyoung knows he's digging his own grave by encouraging Taeyong, but at this point, he needs to admit to himself how childishly jealous he is and get over it. Ten and Taeyong are just friends, anyway.

 

(At least he hopes.)

 

Taeyong decides to call Ten and says he's going outside for a minute so they can hear each other. Doyoung walks further into the crowded living room and finds a spot on the couch, grabbing a new drink on his way, and waits for Taeyong to come back after his phone call. He hates that his mood turned sour.

 

Ten minutes pass. And then, it's fifteen minutes. Then thirty. Then forty-five. Doyoung is still slumped on his couch, slowly getting buzzed, nursing his fifth cup, a couple making out right next to him. Taeyong doesn't come back. After an hour of refreshing Instagram every minute, Doyoung stops lying to himself and admits Taeyong's ditched him, too. He's not sure he's going to move, though, because he has way too much pride to go look for him.

 

He wouldn't say he's _hurt_ , because getting separated from your friends in a party is something that happens all the time so it's not that deep, and Taeyong wanted to go out, to have fun, to get a breath of fresh air, so Doyoung wouldn't want to suffocate him. He could've just warned, though, aware that Doyoung barely knew 1 in 100 people in this room.

 

He decides to find Jaehyun at some point, because he's starting to get bored out of his mind and the two or three art majors that he absolutely doesn't want to talk to are getting closer.

 

He's making his way through the house slowly when he hears a familiar voice.

 

« Hey there, handsome, » Ten chirps.

 

He looks like it took him a week to get ready, his silver hair is styled to the side, his eyes shiny with eyeshadow and his gaze piercing because of his green contacts. He's wearing the weirdest aluminum foil looking shirt, but somehow it fits him.

 

« How did you even get here so fast? Didn't Taeyong call you, like, an hour ago or something? » Doyoung questions.

 

« Turns out I was already here! I'm friends with Johnny, so I was invited. Small world, right? » Ten grins.

 

« Who in the world is Johnny, » Doyoung isn't sure he wants to know.

 

« Uh, Youngho? »

 

« Oh my god, yeah, let's never mention that nickname again. Have you seen Taeyong? » Doyoung can't stop himself from asking.

 

Ten gives him a knowing smile.

 

« Looking for your boyfriend, huh? » he says.

 

« Looking to get kicked in the face, huh? » Doyoung retorts. Ten cackles, not intimidated in the slightest.

 

Doyoung's stomach feels weird. Why would Ten joke about something like that when Doyoung was almost certain that he and Taeyong were crushing on each other? He wants to ask Ten, wants to know if Taeyong told him anything, but Ten smells like whiskey, so Doyoung can't risk getting snitched on by his drunk ass.

 

« Last time I saw him he was playing beer pong in the backyard, » he tells Doyoung like it's a big secret.

 

« Alright, thanks. Uh, on second thought, have you seen Jaehyun? »

 

« Oh, _yeah_ , I did see Jaehyun. I was with him just now, actually, » he winks. His unbuttoned shirt suddenly makes sense.

 

« Uh, okay, I'm not sure I want to know. Thanks, though, » Doyoung doesn't wait for an answer before escaping Ten's presence, smiling sarcastically at him.

 

He wants to kick himself when he realizes that Ten didn't _actually_ tell him where Jaehyun was, but after searching a little he catches a glimpse of him and some of his friends going upstairs. Doyoung decides not to follow, not really wanting to join in on whatever they'll be doing, probably playing some stupid game of truth or dare or spin the bottle.

 

He tries really hard to _not_ go anywhere near the backyard to check if Taeyong's there. He really does try.

 

(And then he gives up.)

 

He pushes his way through the crowded kitchen, muttering _sorry_ 's here and there. The backdoor is already open, allowing people to come and go freely. The house has a rather small backyard, so it's crowded there as well, but Taeyong stands out pretty quick thanks to his outfit and his hair.

 

He looks tipsy even from afar, laughing and talking loudly, the game of beer-pong Ten mentioned clearly over. It seems as though everybody is trying to talk to him; he's leaning against a handsome boy Doyoung has never seen before, giggling at his jokes and trying to reply to other people at the same time.

 

Doyoung understands why he's so popular despite being so introverted. There's something so attractive about him, something that makes you want to talk to him, something that makes you feel like you need to know him, to be friends with him, to get any part of him at all costs. It's the same thing that made Doyoung so fond of him in the first place, that made him catch feelings so fast.

 

Doyoung figures there's no need for him to go and ruin his fun, and Taeyong is clearly not looking for him, not even noticing his arrival even though Doyoung is in his direct line of sight. It feels like a thousand needles are poking his heart.

 

« Something wrong, cutie? » a familiar voice asks.

 

Doyoung turns, finding Yuta leaning against the other side of the threshold.

 

« He's something, isn't he? » Yuta comments, pointing his chin towards Taeyong.

 

« Yeah, he... yeah, » Doyoung doesn't know what to answer.

 

« Careful, lover boy. He might just slip right through your fingers if you let him. » Yuta warns him, only half joking, before joining a group of people outside.

Doyoung already knew that.

 

Maybe it's not a good idea to leave, in case Taeyong is unable to find Jaehyun later when he wants to go home, but his decision's already taken. He's not mad at Taeyong and Jaehyun or anything, but he feels too out of place to stay a minute longer. He's got no jacket to grab, no car keys to search for.

He quickly texts Jaehyun, telling him he'll be gone when they look for him. He tries not to sound like a drama queen, pretending he was just bored which won't be surprising. Jaehyun answers quickly, saying that it's okay and that he's sorry Doyoung didn't have fun.

Doyoung wants to tell him it's no one's fault but his own. 

 

**—**

 

Doyoung can't sleep. He should've known it was going to be impossible. He regretted going home as soon as he walked through the door, immediately starting to worry about Taeyong, wondering if he wasn't drinking too much, if he wasn't doing something stupid, if Jaehyun was watching over him, if they would get home safely.

 

It's almost three in the morning, he's been home for probably an hour and a half, and the only updates he got were a couple of blurry Snapchat videos from Jaehyun, people dancing and singing along to whatever mainstream song was playing.

 

Taeyong actually texted him about an hour after he got home, wondering where he was and why he left so quick.

 

 

**From:** Tae **[2:01am]**

 

_jae told me u went home is everythn ok??_

 

 

 

**To:** Tae **[2:04am]**

 

_told u parties weren't my shit_

 

_u have fun tho dnt worry_

 

 

A small part of Doyoung was disappointed that Taeyong only texted him after Jaehyun had told him he was gone, but he's a desperate bitch, so he was still happy that Taeyong had thought of him for a minute.

 

Now, he's back to wallowing in self-pity, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Taeyong having fun with cuter and less boring boys than him, until his phone starts vibrating.

 

_Tae_ _ **[INCOMING CALL]**_ , his screen reads. He doesn't hesitate even for half a second and presses the phone to his ear.

 

« Are you okay? » is what Doyoung asks first.

 

« Doyoungie, where are you? » Taeyong whines. He sounds like a child, like he always does when he's drunk.

 

Doyoung gets up so fast he almost faints. As Taeyong says « Doyoungie, come get me, », Doyoung is already putting on his sneakers with one hand and grabbing a jacket with the other, keeping the phone to his ear with his shoulder.

 

« I'm coming, alright? Are you okay? » he asks again, more urgently. Taeyong still doesn't answer. Doyoung hears loud static for a second, before another voice talks.

 

« Come get your boy, DY, »

 

« Yuta? Yuta, watch over him, yeah? Please, » Doyoung begs, going down the stairs so fast he wonders how he didn't fall and break his neck.

 

« Oh my god, he's okay, you drama queen. He just wants to go home and this bitch Jaehyun ran off somewhere with that Thai hottie, so he called you. » Doyoung can almost _hear_ him rolling his eyes.

 

He's too out of breath to talk any more, practically running to the frat house, so he just says « On my way! Be right there! » before hanging up.

When he gets there, legs aching and out of breath, he finds Taeyong sitting on the porch waiting for him, staring at the ground and looking like a lost kid, swimming in an oversized thick black hoodie. Yuta is next to him, a hand patting his back. The hoodie probably belongs to him. 

 

Doyoung is grateful for Yuta actually staying with him, scared of what might have happened if Taeyong had tried to go home on his own in this state.

 

Yuta sees him first, saying « Look who came for you, pretty boy, ».

 

When he raises his head, Taeyong does look alright, just a little drunk. He smiles dumbly when he sees Doyoung, getting up and almost tripping before falling into Doyoung's arms.

 

« You came for me, pretty boy, » Taeyong repeats, giggling.

 

Doyoung can't help the smile that blooms on his face. « Yeah, of course, » he answers softly. « Let's get you home, yeah? » Taeyong only nods.

Doyoung waves at Yuta, silently thanking him before he goes back into the house.

 

 

Taeyong places his hand in the crook of Doyoung's arm as they walk slowly. The fresh air makes him sober up, his steps less uncoordinated after a while, his gaze less unfocused. Doyoung feels the tension between them, but he doesn't speak, not knowing what he should say. Taeyong beats him to it, asking why he only told Jaehyun that he was leaving.

 

« I don't know, you seemed pretty occupied to me, » Doyoung mutters.

 

« What does that even mean, »

 

« Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just, you were with people, so I just thought you would be okay without me. »

 

« When am I ever okay without you? » Taeyong's voice softens. Doyoung's heart aches at this, but he knows he needs to be honest with Taeyong or his feelings will eat him alive for days.

 

« I don't know, my presence just wasn't necessary, I guess? I would never leave you alone somewhere, but I told you, you were with people, so. » Doyoung explains. His voice must betray him, because Taeyong stops walking suddenly and turns to look at him, squinting his eyes.

 

« And who was I with, exactly? » he asks slowly.

 

« I don't know, alright? That… that skinny ass jock wannabe you were leaning on, and whoever the fuck else, » Doyoung turns away from him. He knows he shouldn't raise his voice, but Taeyong is playing dumb and it's pissing him off.

 

« I can't believe this, » Taeyong starts laughing. « Doyoung, oh my god, are you _jealous?_ »

 

« What the fuck, of course I'm not, » Doyoung tries to defend himself.

(He is.)

 

« You _never_ talk to me like that, »

 

Doyoung doesn't answer and crosses his arms, waiting for Taeyong to get over his fit of laughter. He would rather die right this instant than to admit his feelings are hurt, because if he did, Taeyong would want to know _why_ , and Doyoung is nowhere near ready for that conversation.

 

« You just left me alone, alright? I don't care who the fuck you hang out with, »

 

« Doyoung, don't be mean, » Taeyong warns quietly.

 

« Sorry, » Doyoung mutters, ashamed. He's looking at the floor, seeing Taeyong's feet get closer when he steps into his personal space, almost touching his.

 

« I didn't mean to. Leave you alone, I mean. I just, when I found Ten, it was so much fun, and I had a lot of drinks, you know? I'm sorry, »

 

Doyoung nods, the lump in his throat bigger than the moon over their heads.

 

« Doyoung, » Taeyong murmurs, begging for an answer.

 

« Who was he, »

 

« What? » Taeyong sounds genuinely confused.

 

« That guy, who was he, » Doyoung repeats, still not raising his head. 

 

« I don't even remember his name, » Taeyong immediately reassures, taking Doyoung's hand in his. Doyoung lets him. « I can't believe you're this jealous, » he adds, grinning.

 

« I'm not, I just… I just, » Doyoung doesn't finish. He knows Taeyong might be aware of his feelings for him, he's not stupid, so he tries not to dig himself an even deeper grave.

 

« Don't be, » Taeyong cups his cheek. « Don't be jealous, yeah? You know that I…, you know, » he struggles to finish.

 

« I know what, » Doyoung urges him.

 

« You know, Doyoung, » Taeyong repeats, bending a little so as to look him right in the eyes. « You know that… there's no one, no one else, right? » His voice gets even smaller, if possible. « You know it's just you and me, don't you? »

 

Taeyong has never sounded so scared, so uncertain than he does right this instant. They've been dancing around each other for a while, they both know it, but it's the first time they get so close to actually talking about it. Doyoung knows neither of them is ready. They stare at each other for a minute, before Doyoung whispers, « Okay, yeah, ».

 

(He knows.)

 

**—**

 

The rest of the walk to Taeyong and Jaehyun's apartment is quiet. Taeyong doesn't let go of Doyoung's hand. Doyoung doesn't want him to.

 

His brain is running a mile a minute, wondering what Taeyong really meant, if he's misinterpreted something, if they should talk about it.

 

« Stay the night? » Taeyong asks when the building comes into view, breaking the silence. Doyoung only nods, not trusting his voice.

 

 

**—**

 

 

When they're in Taeyong's bed, limbs tangled, Doyoung still can't sleep. Taeyong dozed off soon after getting in bed, all the alcohol and the dancing and whatever he had been doing finally knocking him out. Doyoung hears Jaehyun come home somewhere around five in the morning, the sound of his steps loud in the deafening silence.

 

He's sure he doesn't get a wink of sleep, but the next time he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Taeyong's eyes. He must have moved in his sleep, because instead of his back against Doyoung's chest, they're now facing each other. The clock on the wall facing the bed reads a little past twelve. They're so close to each other that Doyoung feels him everywhere. They don't say a word. Taeyong seems to have woken up minutes ago, too, because he looks dumb and confused like he always does in the mornings.

 

He smiles softly at Doyoung before giving him a single peck on the lips. Doyoung stares at him, surprised.

 

«Breakfast? » Taeyong asks quietly, unbothered.

 

Doyoung keeps silent for a few minutes, only looking at him. Taeyong is an enigma, always acting a certain way without ever explaining, but Doyoung wants to talk about things, wants to talk about last night, about what Taeyong just did right now, Doyoung wants to know.

 

_You already know, Doyoung,_ a voice in his head reminds him.

 

«Yeah, » he finally answers. « I was thinking, waffles? »

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> can't believe it took me so long to write 5k lol anyway I worked hard on this so I really hope you'll like it, and if you don't well you can also tell me it sucked!  
> also I hope everybody understood that 'dancing around each other' vibe I'm trying to get going between them, right now they still haven't told each other how they feel so it's still unspoken sorry if thats confusing
> 
> let me know what you think in the comments or on https://curiouscat.me/hyukkwon
> 
> title from rihanna's "higher"


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